Birthday...a time for past reflections

It's my birthday today...and a great time to reflect on my past and its importance of leading me all the way to this special place I find myself in today.

In looking back, perhaps it has taken me a long while to learn a number of the lessons that have come my way in the past. But I would change nothing, else I would not currently find myself on this springboard, ready to be propelled into a much more uncertain but definitely a more exciting and fulfilling life.

At times life may seem difficult and progress full of obstacles - "I could get there so much easier if it wasn't for this or that" or "As soon as this happens I will be in a much better place to make the changes I know I need to in order to take the next step". However, it is these so called difficulties that provide the much needed challenges for us that, when overcome, give us the lessons that we really need to make genuine progress on our journey, and the confidence we need to know that we can do it and continue to believe in pursuing our life purpose.

But when it's all said and done the past is just that, a myriad of different experiences of difficulty, sadness, pain and loneliness combined with a moments of happiness, joy, triumph and success, all leading to a unique single point of reference that we refer to as the present moment. So the past can be let go now, the memories and lingering emotions of all these moments can be released and our slates wiped clean, because all the parts that need to be retained are already right here included in the present moment. This is a gift that not only frees us from the past but also continues to guide us on this unique life adventure.

So today as a I reach another birthday milestone, I realise that I am not really as old as my birthdate would have me believe. While all those years were important in leading me to understand as much as I do today about life and about myself, each moment that makes up the past years can be released. The truth is that I am reborn every day and every moment of every day as I allow the past to dissolve. This gives me a unique opportunity to continue to start afresh as the new me emerges ready for the exciting future challenges that await.

Success

Do you ever get the feeling in life that you are lost?

Do you ever sit back and really think is this what life is all about, shouldn't there be more, a real reason to be here?

Do you ever feel like you are leading more of a life that is "expected" of you by others, or playing it safe, rather than exploring those things that sing to your heart, or testing the boundaries of uncertainty that could take you to the places of your dreams?

Do you ever feel like you are working in a job that just doesn't interest you, or a job that just feels like a job, where you can't wait for the weekends to start and are disappointed when they are over, rather than following and becoming a success at what you are truly passionate about, where what you do never really feels like a job and the weekdays are just as much fun as the weekends?

Do you ever notice that the justification for continuing down this path might be the acceptance of family and friends, or financial achievement, where the feeling of success then becomes compliments or reassurance from others, or the high you get from buying a new house, a car, a watch or a handbag, that eventually fades, rather than a deeply intense and lasting satisfaction and joy that comes with achieving what is aligned with your heart and soul?

Do you ever get the feeling that what would be fulfilling is using your talents, your life experience or just some of your precious moments to help others who are less fortunate than you but you just don't seem to have the time given your busy schedule and long work hours?

Did you even realise than when you depart this world you cannot take your wealth or material possessions with you, but you can leave the world a richer place by enhancing the lives of others while you are here?

Every single person has been given a gift to be great at what they are truly passionate about and by doing so to make a positive difference to this world and the lives of those in it.

So what stops most of us then? Fear of being different and as a result being judged by others? Fear of leaving the "safety" of our current comfort zone? Fear of FAILURE?

But at the time when we are down to our last remaining few breaths and our life flashes before us, what will we consider success or failure at that point? Perhaps we will regret  that we always played it safe and never actually gave ourselves the opportunity to reach our highest potential.

Why is it that most of us don't learn this lesson until it's too late?

Listen to you heart and begin to take small steps in whatever direction it leads you. Before you know it your life will be on the path to greatness and true success.

Farewell Pop

On 23rd September 2011 at around 11:25pm (UK time) a wonderful man decided to depart this world and move on to a better place.

My grandfather, Barry Cohen, or Pop as he was known to me, was a special person in my life as he was in many others. He was a genuinely good man with a warm heart, very thoughtful and kind to others and with a cheeky sense of humour. He treated others kindly throughout his life journey and for that was a popular man.

My earliest memory of him was him being at our family home in Umina one Christmas time. I remember visiting him in my early years on the Central Coast and later in Port Macquarie. When his grandchildren were around his face would light up and he would always be full of energy.

If there was someone who really experienced the highs and lows that life has to offer, it was Pop.

With his wife Norah (Nan) and their young family in the UK he decided to make a brave move to Australia. After a long journey on a ship, they arrived with very little but each other and hopes of their new life ahead. I have heard my Mum's stories about living in a hostel when they arrived and it must have been difficult but I have no doubts his positive spirit helped in those tough times.

Unfortunately life's pressures saw my Pop and Nan drift apart but they both still had so much to learn in life and needed to do it on their own. Some of the memories I have of Pop with his new partner were of big houses and nice cars - he achieved what most would call "success". While he drifted away from his children at this time my mother made every effort to keep in touch so that her children had a grandfather.

Eventually he lost touch with all his family and many years later he faced what most would call "failure" when he ended up back in the UK with nobody, no money and nowhere to live. Even his children did not know that for a while he called the street his home.

Little did he know at the time that he hadn't really tasted success or failure but just learnt what he needed to know to understand what life is really about.

In the final phase of his life he got back on his feet, found a place to call home in Sheffield and regained contact with his family. He met his best friends in life who helped take care of him for his remaining years as his eyesight deteriorated. He was now truly a success because he had learned life's secret to happiness. It's not about status or money or possessions. He learned to appreciate and cherish the things many of us take for granted - a roof over our head, genuine friends to share life with and a family who loves us.

He even got to meet some of his great grandchildren. I remember when I first visited him in the UK with my beautiful boy Hudson. I was reminded of the same face I'd seen on Pop many years before when it lit up with joy. I remember being amazed as I had never seen Hudson warm to someone so quickly - he jumped straight into Pop's lap after meeting him for the first time and gave him a kiss and cuddle. He could obviously tell he was with someone special.

Pop's final weeks were spent in hospital where he underwent several operations. Despite being in a lot of pain he didn't lose his warmth and humour and it was no surprise that he became a favourite amongst the nurses.

He spent his final day with 2 of his loving daughters, including my Mum, and after having endured the pain for too long, he decided to let go and died peacefully in his sleep.

It was no coincidence that before my Nan passed away many years ago she asked to see Pop, then during his final days Pop spoke of wanting to be buried near Nan. Despite the trials and tribulations they faced in life, their love for each other never really died.

Now finally they both have their wish and can be together forever.

Rest in peace Pop...I love you.

Loneliness

What is Loneliness??

A feeling, an emotion that somebody is not with you, or that nobody is with you at all.

For many, it could be fleeting or temporary - missing a loved one that you have not seen for a period but know that you will again. For some, it may be more severe such as the permanent separation or loss of someone who has been an integral part of your life. In both these situations it can be overcome over time.

For a rare few it is a permanent feeling, entrenched deep inside, that time will not diminish. A close relationship may initially help to reduce the pain but it will eventually surface again.

I have felt lonely inside for as long as I can remember, but is this feeling justified? Am I really lonely?

I have such amazing friends who listen intently and offer encouraging advice whenever it is needed. It is no coincidence that whenever I feel down a friend will often call or send some kind words just to let me know they care. Good friends will be with me for life.

In a time of need my family is always there to provide love and support. It doesn't matter how much or little you've spoken to them recently, or how annoyed you are with one another. None of this matters when support is required.

How many people can say they have a wonderful, happy, bright, mischievous, loving son who always sees the best in you? There's no room to feel lonely while playing trains or dinosaurs with the one person who utterly adores you.

What about those dear to me who have passed away and moved to a better place...they are still around to guide me and ensure that my life stays on the right path. Their presence and comfort, no matter how transparent, ensures that I am never lonely.

It's impossible to be lonely when you realise that you are so deeply connected to every living thing on this planet...people, animals, trees...everything.

So what's left?

I can only ever really feel lonely when one person is not fully there for me...ME.

All I need is to show a fraction of the love, kindness and support to myself that my friends, family, my son, spirits and the world already show me.

But finally I am here for me - that simply means being myself so that the real me does not feel lost somewhere deep inside. And being myself is about being kind to and helping others.

So I think I have solved it...I am not really lonely at all.

This feeling no longer has a rightful place inside me, so....goodbye forever!!!

Finding the Right Path

Life is an unusual journey.

I have made many mistakes in my life, the biggest and most damaging only recently. Yet despite the intense pain and hurt arising from knowing I have inflicted the same upon others, this time it is different.

This time I could not hide, flee or deny. This time I had to stand, face the truth and accept the consequences. This time I have to pay a heavy price and pay these dues openly.

This time it is like my eyes have finally been opened. This time I can finally see to the core of the problem that has been burdening me for most, if not all, of my life. This time I am ready to deal with this problem head on so that I can leave it behind once and for all.

This time I will move forward to a happier and more fulfilling life.